The Boy who cried Wolf.
Many of my generation may remember the fable about the boy who cried Wolf to many times. The villagers running to save his butt just as many times, only they discover no wolf and no boy in danger. The Moral of the story is the boy cried wolf when the real wolf showed up and the villagers failed to come to his rescue. The Wolf carted off the sheep the boy was watching over. In some darker versions the Wolf eat the boy. One might ask was the boy a prankster and eventually cried wolf to many times and the villagers refused to go to his rescue. Or was the boy effected by an inferiority complex. Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia defines Inferiority complex as such: “In psychology, inferiority complex is a consistent feeling of inadequacy, often resulting in the belief that one is in some way deficient, or inferior, to others. According to Alfred Adler, a feeling of inferiority may be brought about by upbringing as a child (for example, being consistently compared unfavorably to a sibling), physical and mental limitations, or experiences of lower social status (for example, being treated unfavorably by one’s peers). An inferiority complex may cause an individual to overcompensate in a number of ways. For example, a person who feels inferior because they are shorter than average (also known as a Napoleon complex) due to common modern day heightism may become overly concerned with how they appear to others. They may wear special shoes to make themself appear taller or surround themselves with individuals who are even shorter than they are. If this is taken to the extreme, it becomes a neurosis. It may also cause an individual to be prone to flashy outward displays, with behavior ranging from attention-seeking to excessive competitiveness and aggression, in an attempt to compensate for their either real or imagined deficiencies. And according to the Cambridge Dictionary of Psychology, “In Adlerian psychology, a combination of an erroneous belief of an individual that they are unable to cope with some aspect of life because of a real or imagined physical or psychological deficiency, feelings of depression, and a cessation of coping efforts in that area”. In another sense “A general term for a personal sense of inferiority”.
As a fable, “The Boy who cried Wolf” and the moral message, is clear that pranking and joking around has its cost when in the event of a real crisis, no one listens to you. Is it possible our boy in the Fable may have had some issues with coping with real or imagined physical or psychological deficiency, feelings of depression and a cessation of coping efforts in that area. He wasn’t a prankster or a jokester, just a boy with some mental health issues. Today it is not uncommon for such children of either gender to act out as a prankster or jokester, hiding some serious subconscious issues of inferiority. As a prankster or jokester, they fail to get across the real reason they are acting out. Along with issues with inferiority we have low self-esteem issues that go hand in hand. The low self-esteem issues masking the inferiority issues as in being afraid to speak up about those issues. Keeping all that pain locked away. Low self-esteem can mimic inferiority when you find yourself feeling like a second- or third-class citizen because of the way you are treated by your peers, as in being bullied constantly, or by adults who bully by their failure to understand your feelings, or cannot cope with your issues, those psychological deficiency, feelings of depression and a cessation of coping efforts. Low self-esteem brought on my constant peer pressure and bullying physically and psychologically can become a lifetime of mental health issues when they are not resolved in time. An individual can grow into adulthood believing they are inferior to their peers, see themselves as “second class citizen” which refers to someone who is not given the same rights, privileges, or respect as other people in a society or group. A feeling of being a “third class citizen” is the lowest of the lows, were an individual see themselves unworthy of the right to speak up and defend themselves or deserve an advocate to stand up for them when they can’t. Often when a second-, or third-class image of yourself tries to rise above that defeating self-incrimination and attempt to speak up and defend yourself like a first-class citizen. You feel inadequate about what you said when the response to what you said is a negative response less then you expected. You start to allow your low self-esteem to creep back in, telling you, you are unworthy of notice by your peers. Instead of feeling first class, you feel second class, and back to the lowest of class, third class. Repeating the cycle of decades since childhood when that constant peer pressure and bullying physically and psychologically returns to haunt you all over again.
You may have, like me in your later adult life after years of Mental Health therapy felt like a first-class citizen finally. That you accomplished something in life you could be proud of, and others should be proud of, (family and friends), such as serving on a community board of directors for a decade or more. Or was a volunteer for 30 years in community theater, 20 years volunteering at your local public museum. You finally actually went to college and graduated at 48 years of age, earned a 3.5 GPA, was inducted into the honors society and made the Nationals Deans list. When the odds of doing so was zero given the prediction of your high school counselor telling you because of your, “C” grades, mental disabilities and physical disabilities you are not college material and she got you a job digging ditches in 1970, really she did. She had me believing I was a third-class citizen, and for 30 years I believed her. They say bullies come in all sizes and ages. My final accomplishment after college 24 years later, fulfilling a lifelong dream, I am now a published author of 47 eBooks, and contributor of 77 Medium.com articles, a few poetry awards, and Volunteer awards. Have more then 3m views of my photography as an amateur photographer on Unsplash.Com. And so much more that denies what the High School counselors and others predicted for me as ‘that I would never grow up to be a productive adult’. I guess being born premature with physical disabilities and Mental health issues, I have finally at 72 made it and proved to myself I am not that “Retard” the label put on me since my birth by the medical professionals or the public educational institutions. Or am I?
Recently I have begun to doubt my accomplishments and find myself feeling like that Third-class citizen again. Should I parade around my accomplishments to get people to notice me, not to treat me like, at 72, I am unworthy of their notice, or respect. Just to get them to acknowledge me as a citizen of my community that when I call for help, that I am not the boy who cried Wolf. Not to ignore my complaints by failure to reply to a legitimate issue I have within a reasonable timeframe (see Medium.com article #71 “Who is behind the Karen Attitude”). I am so tempted to parade those accomplishments in their face that I am not a third-class citizen for the city manager, police, and others to ignore me as if I really was a third-class citizen beneath their notice. At least give me the curtsey to respond even if I don’t like the answer. Or is it in reality as the Cambridge Dictionary of Psychology defines, “in Adlerian psychology, a combination of an erroneous belief of an individual that they are unable to cope with some aspect of life because of a real or imagined physical or psychological deficiency, feelings of depression, and a cessation of coping efforts in that area”. In another sense “A general term for a personal sense of inferiority”. I can’t stop feeling as I do, it is who I am since birth. I locked up the pain of being bullied mercilessly because of my disabilities. I feared speaking up and defending myself. I refused to defend myself, because when I did, I was called a liar, disbelieved I was being bullied by those adults/teachers who refused to see the writing on the wall. As much as I wish I had been born a healthy full-term baby in 1951, and I did not have to deal with mental, emotional, and physical handicaps and decades of bullies in my life of all ages. I can’t turn back the clock or even slow it down.
In my later life I have learned to speak up and defend myself, ask for redress when I strongly believed I have been wronged. The stigma of Mental illness can and does become a barrier for getting through some prejudices. You can’t make everyone aware of their prejudices. Maybe I have cried wolf all to often and yes, the redress I expected didn’t pan out as I would have liked it, and some have. Maybe my successes have embodied me to speak out more often encouraging me to stop hiding my childhood pain. Am I wrong to do so? I shall try to move forward, and I know I will continue to face new challenges. I just wish when some do and did pat me on the back, I can stop questioning its sincerity. It is not them it’s me. And patting myself on the back seems so hollow and worthless to me as well. This is the genesis of one’s childhood full of bullies of all kind and ages where you find no light at the end of tunnel for so long that when that light finally appeared you are blind to it. It is hard to stop blaming others in my life today, when I can’t stop blaming myself. What came first, the egg or the chicken? And having low self-esteem and an inferiority complex is no cliché to cry wolf about either. Its real, painful, scary, and devours you daily, and no-one should have to deal with it alone, and face the mirror and see nothing there. I can’t help crying wolf for the wolf is real.
I am Robert D. Vergeson, and I have been writing for Medium.com since 2019. This is my #78th. posting on Medium.com. I also write and publish eBook’s under my penname Rowlen Delaware Vanderstone III available at Smashword.com, some 47 eBooks to date in the genre of Non-fiction, Fiction, Mysteries, Sci-Fi Fantasy, Teen adventures, Essays, Plays and Poetry.
